By: Catherine Olaso
“What kind of question is that? ‘Do we rent our facility for weddings?’ lady, this is You City Dump!”
“Oh, don’t worry. It would just be a small service. Under fifty guests.” Angie entreated Frank with big, brown doe eyes.
He shook off her charm with a cynical laugh. “You’re joking, right?” His arm swept a wide gesture at the disheveled landscape. “Nothing here’s fit for a ceremony like that.”
Angie smiled, drawing Frank’s attention to her heart-shaped mouth. She turned and pointed over her shoulder. “The sunset will be romantic glittering off that heap of scrap metal. And…” her soft face settled into a dreamy look, “imagine how the wind will chime rustling through the mattress springs and gutted appliances.”
Frank adjusted his hard hat and frowned. “Lady, no disrespect, but I don’t think you’re running on all four cylinders. This is THE DUMP. No one wants to get married here.”
Angie ignored him, her smile growing wider. “What a view from this hill!” She screened her eyes with her hand, scanning the valley on her tiptoes. “The twinkling city lights will simply take everyone’s breath away.”
“So will the smell,” Frank muttered, pulling off his leather gloves.
The rumble of a backhoe made Angie jump. The tips of her high-heels sank deeper into the mud. She spun and squealed at the giant piece of equipment. “Can I reserve a few of those too?!” Her eyes lit up. “I can just see the roses dangling from –”
“ – Hey Joe!” Frank hollered across the yard.
“Yeah?” Joe stuck his head out the office door, chewing a tootsie-pop wedged between his teeth.
“Better get the foreman.” Frank pointed at Angie with his eyes and blew a “cuckoo” whistle.
Angie clasped her hands together, as if begging. “I know it’s last minute, but please say you’ll rent this to me. I’d be so grateful.”
Frank scratched his head. “What does the groom have to say about all of this?”
“Kyle?” Adoration peaked Angie’s voice. “He’s cute and smart and –”
“– I hope he has a sense of humor.” Frank looked down and massaged his forehead.
“But it was Kyle’s suggestion! At first I thought he was crazy, but now that I’ve considered,” Angie’s gaze swept over the yard again, “I see the possibilities.”
She knew from Frank’s skeptical smirk that he still didn’t take her seriously. “Here, see for yourself,” Angie said, pulling her cell phone from her purse. “He sent me a text this morning. I drove forty minutes to find this place.” She pushed some buttons, then handed the phone to Frank.
Frank squinted at the screen. His mouth dropped open.
“See?” Angie rocked on her toes, a jubilant glimmer in her eyes. “It says – ‘As for wedding, dump in You.’”
Frank swallowed and returned the phone with a grimace. “Uh… lady. I think you better read it again. It says, ‘dump'n you.’”